“To thine own self be true.”
This is one of my favorite quotes from Shakespeare. These six words are so true! If you are not truthful with yourself, then you cannot be truthful with others. Whether your falsities with others are intentional or not, by putting on a mask to the world you are deceiving yourself and the world about your true character.
I am so guilty of this. The funny thing is that I thought I was keeping it 100% real. Turns out I wasn’t. We all have many facets to our personality and sometimes it’s best to show more of one than another in certain situations, like work. However, I’m talking about really deceiving yourself.
I recently started watching The Good Wife on Amazon Prime. I just finished the first two seasons and have just begun the third. The main character, Alicia Florrick, is the wife of a disgraced State’s Attorney. He was caught in a sex scandal and had to resign. As a result, Alicia, who was a stay at home mom, now has to go back to work. She goes to work for a law firm in which one of the partners is a law school friend/old fling from their time at Georgetown. In season 1, Alicia is very naive, somewhat unsure of herself and tries to put on a brave face by stating that “all is well.” All is not well when your world has been turned upside down. By season 2, she is gaining confidence in herself and begins to trust her instincts more, but the end of the season drops another bombshell that she has to deal with. How she deals with this will determine her own happiness. She must be true to herself and what she wants, not what looks good to the public or what others want of her. By the beginning of season 3 Alicia is brimming over with confidence. She has visibly changed and has clearly made the decision to be true to herself.
I saw a lot of myself in Alicia. When I saw season 1 I didn’t think anything about it, but when season 2 rolled around I realized that we had a lot of the same characteristics. One of the main characteristics is allowing what others want from you to overshadow what you truly want for yourself. I’ve been guilty of making sure others are pleased before I please myself. I’ve thought of myself as “no big deal” when making a decision between what I want and what someone else may want from me. This is not cool. I am a big deal! A BIG F@#$%IN DEAL!
This journey has taught me a lot about myself in such a short amount of time. It hasn’t even been a month and I’m growing by leaps and bounds. I’m staying true to my path of enlightened discovery which means 100% authenticity from me. No more letting my feelings, wants, needs or opinions take a side seat. My needs are just as important as everyone else. I need to speak up even when it’s hard and walk away when it’s not. I need to realize that I have a voice that needs to be heard. And above all else, I need to stay true to myself.
Have you been truthful with yourself?